Hell Is Giving Up On your Dreams....
I was trying to write a journal entry in straight Filipino to explain all the emotions running through my brain right now. After an hour of trying to put words together, I gave up. It's not that I am not good in speaking the language, it's just that I think faster in English.
I do not regret a single moment that I have walked the corporate path. I did this to find out for myself what it's like to be in the "real" world. Although my course in college has absolutely nothing to do with my work right now, I have managed to survive because I have no choice. I have bills to pay, responsibilities to fulfill and a life to build.
However, when I think about it, I realize I do not have a single friend who would be considered "normal". My real friends are artists, NGO types, self-employed, drifters, or people with strong creative impulses who just like me, forego their dreams in order to be responsible adults. I cannot stand the thought of hanging out with typical yuppies who work in P&G, Unilever, Citibank or some other big-name corporation. I have nothing against these people. It's just that I never belonged with that crowd.
I do not want to get my MBA by the age of 30. I am not interested in becoming the CEO of some big organization. I know what I want to do and it's to go back to school and pursue my greatest passion which is Philosophy. I want to join a volunteer program and serve people in a more direct way without counting what I would get in return. I want to see people for who they are and not for what they can do for my career. I do not want to compromise my principles anymore just to fit in. I do not want to get things done no matter who I step on along the way. I am sick and tired of having to play mind games with people and watch my back all the time.
I want to be a kid again. I want to be myself. I want to be kind-hearted. I want to be open. I want to be vulnerable. I want to wear jeans and shirts everyday instead of stuffy business suits.
But then, there are bills I need to pay next month...
I do not regret a single moment that I have walked the corporate path. I did this to find out for myself what it's like to be in the "real" world. Although my course in college has absolutely nothing to do with my work right now, I have managed to survive because I have no choice. I have bills to pay, responsibilities to fulfill and a life to build.
However, when I think about it, I realize I do not have a single friend who would be considered "normal". My real friends are artists, NGO types, self-employed, drifters, or people with strong creative impulses who just like me, forego their dreams in order to be responsible adults. I cannot stand the thought of hanging out with typical yuppies who work in P&G, Unilever, Citibank or some other big-name corporation. I have nothing against these people. It's just that I never belonged with that crowd.
I do not want to get my MBA by the age of 30. I am not interested in becoming the CEO of some big organization. I know what I want to do and it's to go back to school and pursue my greatest passion which is Philosophy. I want to join a volunteer program and serve people in a more direct way without counting what I would get in return. I want to see people for who they are and not for what they can do for my career. I do not want to compromise my principles anymore just to fit in. I do not want to get things done no matter who I step on along the way. I am sick and tired of having to play mind games with people and watch my back all the time.
I want to be a kid again. I want to be myself. I want to be kind-hearted. I want to be open. I want to be vulnerable. I want to wear jeans and shirts everyday instead of stuffy business suits.
But then, there are bills I need to pay next month...
posted by wilgefortis @ 7:03 PM
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