Ghosts of the Past

Everyone has ghosts from their past that they would rather forget. God knows I have a lot. Some I have already confronted and reconciled with. There are others who have chosen to run away from me. That I cannot do much about, so I let them be. But there are others who remain like the fungi that grow on trees.

Anyway, how do I drive away these ghosts? Most of the time, I just try to erase them completely from my life. I cut off all ties and leave no trace of them whatsoever in my life. Sometimes I tear up all their letters, burn their pictures and delete their numbers from my cellphone.

Last night I was talking to my friend Cecil and we were talking about how no matter how hard we try to run away, the past still catches up with us eventually. I had to admit it was true. I have already burned his pictures which have both me and him in it. I tore up his graduation picture which was the only evidence I had left that he once loved me. I even deleted his number from my cellphone a long time ago. The problem is, I still have his number in my head. The ironic thing is, I only remember it clearly when I am dead drunk.

Actually, I still have at least 2 pictures left with both me and him in it. I just don't feel like burning it because does it really help? Plus, don't I want to have something to look back on when I am old? I don't know. I really just want to forget. Of course, time has already dulled the pain and also the love. I just wish I no longer had to be reminded of him. Problem is circumstances always seem to be conspiring against me.

Oh well, I just have to live with this for now. Eventually, we all forget in the end.