Dark Mood

I haven't written anything in my blog for the last week because I've been a little busy. I've been going through a lot of interviews and suddenly I find myself with 2 job offers. A 3rd one is in the pipeline, but I'm not sure when that will finally push through.

I can't say that I'm really excited with my career prospects at the moment. I don't know. Maybe I'm a little jaded or maybe a little impatient. I feel like I'm trapped in a situation where I can't go for my ultimate dream yet.

But I can't stay unemployed forever. Much as I would like to wait for my dream job, there are bills to pay and responsibilities to fulfill. At least I can say though that I am much saner at this point in my life and a lot more focused on what I want. The goal is, to save enough money and get out of the Philippines.

I thought that by coming back I would be happy. It turns out, this can't be my home anymore. It wasn't Singapore either, so I have not regrets about leaving that place. My 26th year will be another test of character. Gosh, who said growing up was easy?

The thing about me is that I don't depend on my family for anything. Yes, I do live with my sister, but it's on my terms. Ever since I got my first paycheck, I have never asked anything from her. I never even borrowed money from her even when I was dead broke. If she buys me things, it's her choice. I could take a year off and be a bum if I had parents who would support me. The thing is, I don't. Since 3rd year high school, my parents were no longer paying for my education. I was already on a scholarship. That's one major reason why we never had the traditional relationship. My parents couldn't force me to do anything because I was already independent at a young age.

Even with my current unemployed status, I am self-supporting. I would like to keep it that way. I don't know, maybe a week or 2 from now, my mind will be clearer. I'll be able to write a more upbeat post. Don't count on me right now though, I'm in one of my pretty dark mood swings.