4-Day Holiday!!!!

At the last minute, my bosses in the office told me that I could take 4 days off for the Holy Week! Of course, I was so happy when I found out, I decided to push through with my plans on Maundy Thursday.

My friend recently learned how to drive and she was looking for someone to hang out with so she could practice her driving. We ended up having breakfast at McDonalds and going to the gym afterwards at The Fort. I helped her out with some of the machines since she wasn't familiar yet with the equipment. I also managed to convince her to join the Body Jam class which she really enjoyed because it's so silly and fun at the same time.

She mentioned that I seemed to have lost weight as compared to the last time we saw each other. It made me glad to know that all my hard work in the gym has been paying off somehow. At the same time though, my present job leaves me little room to indulge in snacks because I barely have time to eat my lunch. It's funny though because sometimes before I go to the gym, I eat a lot of chocolate to get my energy rush.

I don't go to the gym to lose weight. At this age, I'm perfectly happy with how my body is, even if I tend to be on the chunky side. I refuse to subscribe to any diet and I will always enjoy all kinds of food. We only live once, why deprive ourselves of the basic joys of life? The reasone why I spend a lot of time in the gym these days is for me to make my lungs stronger and to make my brain produce more endorphins which does really give that "natural high". If in the process it makes me look better to other people, then I'm glad. I think though that I've had enough self-acceptance that fat or thin, my body will never be a source of my confidence issues.

I wonder how I'll spend the next 3 days of my holiday?

The Euthanasia Issue

I got a chance to watch the news this week because I had to make some weird adjustments to my work schedule. When I turned to CNN, I saw that the big news in the US right now is the Terri Schiavo case. After watching for a few minutes, I now also find myself in following the developments of the story.

As a backgrounder, about 10 years ago, Terri Schiavo collapsed in her home due to a mineral imbalance in her body resulting from an eating disorder. In the time that she was unconscious, her brain was deprived of oxygen long enough to result in serious brain damage. Though she managed to survive, since then she has in been in a persistent vegetative state. She can't communicate or move at all. In fact, she has been dependent on a feeding tube for her nutritional needs. For many years now, her husband and her parents have been locked in a bitter legal battle as to how long she should continue living on life support.

When I was in high school, I remember writing a paper on Euthanasia for our Religion class. It was one of the projects I really enjoyed working on because it made me realize how difficult it is to draw the line that separates us from life or death. Since there has been a lot of advances in the medical sciences in the 20th century, it is now possible to keep people alive much longer than our ancestors could. At the same time though, these life-saving devices can stretch life to the point of sacrificing the person's quality of life. In the case of my Mom, she was living on a respirator for the last week of her life. I never managed to speak to her, she barely opened her eyes and I will never find out what was actually going through her mind at that time when she was hooked up to the machine. All that time I watched over her, I kept on asking myself, "Would she have wanted this to happen to her?If I gave her the choice, would she have asked me to pull the plug instead of keeping her artificially alive and prolonging her pain?"

To begin with, it's very hard to answer questions on assisted suicide and euthanasia because we can't even define what death really is. Is it really at the point when your heart stops beating on its own? Can you say you are dead when you don't breathe anymore? In this day and age though, I think most people actually define death as when your brain stops functioning. Believe it or not, I think brain functions are the last to go when you die.

I think one of these days, I'll get a lawyer to draw up a document saying that if ever I end up in a hospital living on artificial life support, I demand that they pull the plug immediately. I don't want to be kept alive by machines. I'd choose to die with dignity and cause the least pain to the people who love me.

So Sue Me.....

I checked my Friendster account this week and I decided to drop by someone's page. I just wanted to see if he's married or not. Well, anyway, he isn't. One thing I can say though, he's getting FAT!!! He seems to have gained 10 pounds from the last time I saw him and at that time, my sister already noticed that he was already fat.

Anyway, moving on to other things.....

I hate rumor- mongers.....

I just recently finished delivering a training program in the office. Everything went well except for a few minor hiccups here and there. So after the training program, we are trying to get everyone assigned to a division within the account.

So I've been busy giving pep talks to people, briefing them before their client interviews and being an all-around counselor in general. It's actually quite fulfilling for me, except for one person who's really giving me a headache. Life can't be perfect all the time because then, it would be really boring.

Probably the worst kind of person you will ever encounter in the office is a rumor- monger. It's very difficult to deal with a person who loves to sow intrigue where none should even be started. With just my recommendation, I can have this particular person dismissed, but I am stopping myself because I want to give this person a chance to prove me wrong. However, if it gets to a point where I really cannot stand him anymore, then I will have to take action. As of now though, I'm biting my tongue. There's very little chance he will change, but let's see what happens in the next 4 weeks.

Getting a Haircut

Whenever a woman gets heartbroken or experiences a sudden change in her life, the first thing she probably takes it out on is her hair. If not that, then maybe she goes on an impulsive shopping spree. Though I may not seem like it at times, at heart, I will always be just a regular girl.

About 2 weeks ago, I decided to go to the salon for a regular trim. By the end of the session, my hair was layered, shoulder-length, and I suddenly found myself with bangs. I didn't protest at all when the hairstylist decided to experiment on my hair. All I told him before the haircut was "Make me look pretty."

I am not heartbroken at all and there is no other person involved in my sudden change of hairstyle. I guess the reason for the haircut is that I've moved on to a different stage of my life. I finally find myself absolutely contented. I have a good job that I'm happy with. I have my family (which includes my 3 beautiful cats) to come home to every morning. I have the best friends in the world who have shared with me all the good and the bad times.

Every afternoon when I wake up, I finally tell God, "Thank you for everything that I've been through, my present life and whatever else the future will hold for me." I don't fear anything anymore and I don't hold any regrets about the past. I remember that the last time that I ever felt like this was in college when I was still studying Philosophy and taking up my favorite sport at the same time.

I guess finding my peace and happiness came with the knowledge and acceptance of who I really am. For many years, I had to pretend that I was this serious power-hungry corporate rat when in my heart, all I really wanted was to help people and be able to laugh at myself. It doesn't mean that I've lost my ambition, my goals in life have simply changed.

I'm celebrating every day that I'm single and independent. I don't feel bad that I haven't found that special someone to spend the rest of my life with. I don't regret ever having walked away from what could have been the love of my life. I've realized that the love of my life, if ever I meet him, will be someone who will be able to accept that my work defines who I am more than anything else in the world. I don't know if I'll ever meet the person who will understand that no matter how hard he tries, he will always only be second to my career. I won't mind waiting forever. I just don't want to ever regret not having done all the things I wanted to do.

How fast time flies! About 2 years ago, I was this depressed alcoholic who had a rising career and a miserable personal life. 7 months ago when I started this blog, I was this depressed miserable wretch with a lucrative career. Now, hard as it may be to comprehend, I'm sort of poor, but I am happy with my work. Life is full of ironies, but I definitely don't mind where the journey has taken me so far.

Really Happy Right Now

Haven't been able to write a proper blog in weeks now. I've just been so busy at work that I haven't had enough time to just sit down and concentrate on putting my thoughts together. The good news is, I've been having so much fun, I don't really notice time passing by.

I've finally started delivering the training class I designed about a month ago. I'm quite lucky that my first batch of trainees are really very open-minded and willing to learn. It makes my life so much easier. Another bonus is that the activities I've planned have worked most of the time in making the training class more fun and interesting.

At the end of the day, I'm very tired, but I go home with a happy heart. I feel good knowing I've made a difference in someone's life. It's quite ironic that initially I refused to consider working in a call center. This is so different from who I was about a year ago. Isn't it so amazing how life changes constantly? I really do not regret my decision in leaving my former job. I was right in thinking that there was something meant for me out there. Moral of the story is: No is meant to suffer in silence for a job they loathe. Forget practicality and follow your heart. That's the real essence of living a full life.