Dilemma

I've been living with a dilemma for the past few weeks now. I am faced with a choice between being responsible and being happy. Before I got married, I was the sort of person who always chose happiness above responsibility without regard for the consequences of my action. Now that I'm a little older and wiser though, it's actually hard for me to let go of my duty. People have been telling me to choose my happiness, but I told them, it's not as simple as that. There a lot of other factors to consider in my decision. It's not just about me now. Thinking about this though is probably the reason why I've been sick for the last 2 weeks now. That's how affected I am with this situation.

Scared

In a little over a month from now, I will be going on a 2-week business trip to the US. This is going to be the 1st time since we got married that I will be away from Bryan for more than a day. This is also going to be the first time when I have to leave my little girl, Mika. A part of me is a bit scared and guilty knowing that Mika is too young to be going through this sort of thing, but at the same time, I know this is part of my job. This will not be the last time as well since I am again scheduled to go back in April. Sigh...

I know I am never going to stop being a career woman, and I'm lucky to be living with someone who accepts that wholeheartedly. I'll try to keep the travelling to just 1 trip a year though. I don't want to miss out on the best years of Mika's childhood.