Before Sunset

It's 4:30 a.m. in the morning and I can't get any sleep….

Last Thursday, I watched "Before Sunset" with a friend of mine. I didn't want to watch it, but she was so insistent on seeing it that I ended up getting dragged to the theatre in Podium. I really wasn't in the mood to watch a romantic movie where the boy DOESN'T get the girl in the end.

"Before Sunset" is the sequel to "Before Sunrise". I didn't see the first movie, but all I know is that the featured pair didn't end up together. 9 years later, the guy (Ethan Hawke) writes a novel about that 1 night he spent with a French girl (Julie Delpy) in Vienna. He never saw her again after that time and he secretly hoped that by writing the book, he would finally find her again. It ends up becoming a best seller so he goes on a book tour in Europe. His last stop is Paris and a few hours before his flight back to America, he sees her at a Paris bookshop.

They spend the next few hours talking about the past, the what-if's, the present and what could be. They walk through a park in Paris, take a river cruise and ride a car on the way to the airport. They debate about the state of the government, the environment, fate and the meaning of love.

It's a very simple movie because nothing much happens. So some people might find this film very boring. But I enjoyed it because I found the questions they asked very interesting. Plus, a lot of their ideas about marriage is really applicable to most of the people I know who are married.

One thing I'll take away from this film is a promise to myself I will never marry anyone just because I've gotten used to having him around. I will only marry the person who will make me feel like we were really destined to meet out of 6 billion people on earth. I don't want to marry anyone because he's convenient or because he's available. I don't want to ever wake up one day asking myself, "Who the hell is this idiot I married?".

When The Past Catches Up With You

I was at a friend's party last night when I got a text from an unfamiliar number asking me if it was my phone number. I found it quite strange so I asked who was texting me. It turned out to be one of my old clients from my former company. It was totally unexpected and out of the blue because only 2 people from my old firm actually know my contact numbers. Anyway, we spoke and we're meeting for coffee this Monday. So my past caught up with me in a positive way. One thing I've learned from this whole experience is that we should always be careful of how we treat people around us. People don't really remember us on the basis of how good we were with a certain job. They will always remember us based on how we treated them when we had the chance to work with them.

This wasn't meant to be a coherent post. I'll just explain everything when I feel like it later on.

My Screwed Up Body Clock

These days, I find myself doing the laundry and washing the dishes at 3 AM in the morning, sleeping at 5 AM and waking up at 12 noon. Gosh, now I'm beginning to miss the days when I used to sleep at 2 AM and wake up at 8 AM.

When Breaking Up and Quitting Mean The Same Thing

Last year, before I left for Singapore, I accompanied my sister and her friends to a manghuhula (fortune teller). They were the only ones supposed to get a reading. However, in the end, I found myself getting my reading done too.

I would say the whole experience was quite fun. I got some insight on some current situations that were bothering me and I was warned about certain choices I would make within the next year or two. However, this being real life, of course, nothing is ever set on stone. We always have the power to change our destiny.

While I was Singapore, my sister ended up going back to her 2 more times. When my situation in my former job was getting murkier by the minute, I would send my sister a question or 2 and my sister would email me her replies. Just to clarify, she never advised me to leave Singapore. She just told me about the difficulties I would have to live with. In the end, it was really my choice to come back.

Once I got back from Singapore, I sank into a deep state of depression. It was one of the major reasons why I didn't bother to celebrate my birthday. It was really my friends who dragged me out of the house. When I was feeling a little better, I decided to pay my manghuhula a visit.

As it turned out, she really could not give me a proper reading that day. Instead it turned into an advice session. She said I got too attached to my previous job. That's why it was so difficult for me to start my life again. She was sort of laughing because she said that I registered the same emotions as if I broke up with a boyfriend instead of just quitting a job. (Kind of reminded me how my love life has been soooo pathetic in the last couple of years.)

In the end, I had to go back to her for a meditation and prayer session so I would be able to let go of all my negative emotions towards my previous job. One of the things I had to do was write every single negative thought I've had about my past work, put it in a bottle and throw it in the sea. I already did that last week.

So I guess this post is just to close a chapter in my life. I will never forget that I once worked there because that is where I took my baby steps in the corporate world. I made a lot of mistakes along the way, made a lot friends, made some enemies and achieved a lot in a short span of time. Overall though, I would say it was a good experience because I learned a lot about myself. Things had to end though when they did. Now, it's time for me to move on and start over.


POSTSCRIPT: I finally officially started my job search last Monday. This time, I'm really serious about it.

Yes, I Broke My Vow.....

During my birthday this year, I made a promise that I wasn't going to drink any kind of alcoholic drink for a year. Well, in a less than a month, I failed to keep that vow. The lure of cheap beer during the Oktoberfest in Eastwood was too much to resist. Ended up having a couple of drinks with Cecil and some of her friends. Anyway, it was an unrealistic goal especially for someone like me. But at least I tried.... Plus, I've been really good since I got back. So drinking isn't sooo bad as long as I'm not smashed every weekend and not getting drunk at a McDonalds.

Weekend Thoughts

Finally got to watch Wimbledon last weekend. It's the latest film from Working Title Pictures featuring Paul Bettany and Kirsten Dunst. Similar to all their previous films like Four Weddings and a Funeral, Nottinghill, etc., it follows the story of a muddled regular English guy as he falls in love with an American woman. In this case though, the whole story is set against the backdrop of Wimbledon, probably the most prestigious tennis tournament of any year.

I have to say it wasn't really that great. Unlike most romantic movies, I didn't find myself crying by the end of the film. But I didn't think it was a waste of time either. It's pleasant enough, but it's only good for one viewing. Plus, if you're not a big fan of tennis, you might find this movie a little boring.


Next weekend I'm supposed to go to Tagaytay with my childhood friends. After that, I'm thinking of going to China for a few days to visit my friend. Still haven't decided though. If I can find a cheap ticket and get my visa easily, then maybe I'll go.

One really bright spot of my weekend was that I bought the Lord of the Rings gift box with 5 action figures! I got it from Toy Kingdom. It has Aragorn after he was crowned as the king, Eomer, Eowyn, Faramir and Arwen. It's a nice addition to our collection at home. Next on my list is the Fell Beast action figure with the Ring Wraith Rider. I collect all the villains while my sister collects all the heroes. I can't wait for the LOTR DVD extended edition to come out in December!

Hanging Out At Midnight

Last Monday night I met up with Paul and Ryan- 2 of my closest friends in college who never get along with each other unless I'm around. Paul is like a brother to me and Ryan is well… himself. I thought it was a pretty funny dinner considering I was hanging with 2 people depressed about the state of their love lives. At around 12 AM, we found ourselves just sitting, smoking a few cigarettes while wondering when are we finally going to meet the love of our lives. It was at that moment when I realized that this was what I missed the whole time I was in Singapore- just having friends at your side, being yourself and simply talking. There was no need to pretend and no need to act like I was a grown up. I had a shoulder to lean on and it was offered to me with no conditions.

I'm glad I decided to come home…

Childhood Friends

Ever since I got back, I've been really spending a lot of time trying to catch up with the people I left behind. That's one of the major reasons why I haven't been writing as much here on my blog. If I'm not meeting up with friends, I'm either spending quality time with my sister or my 3 beautiful cats.

2 of my childhood friends have spent the last 5 years in medical school. First, they had to finish med. proper and then spend 1 year of internship in the hospital of their choice. It was always very hard to meet up with them because most of the time, they were not available. So I'd only get to see them maybe once or twice a year. It wasn't so bad though, because in that one day of the year that we would see each other (together with 2 of our other friends) we'd end up having so much fun just like when we were kids, the distance ceased to matter. Well, they recently finished with the medical board exams so these days we've just been hanging out in the mall. We’re indulging ourselves in the guilty pleasure of being bums after burning out in the last few years.

Let me backtrack a little…. You see, when I was in Grade 5, I met this girl named Yuri. I don't know why, but I got along with her better than most of our other classmates. I guess it was because she was the only one who would speak to me in English. I don't really remember this anymore, but she said I never really spoke in Filipino. I guess I never realized how much I was an outsider back then, but I was glad that at least 1 person did understand me for who I really was.

Yuri and I were both in the section called Peaceful. Another thing I remembered was that we had a rivalry with another section called Industrious. By the time we moved on to Grade 6, people from both classes were combined to make up one class called Patriotic. I ended up meeting 3 other people because of a class project we were working on. We were supposed to impersonate a popular singing group of that time. I ended up becoming really good friends with Veronica, Anna Marie, and Zara.

High School came and Zara moved to another school. The 4 of us who remained naturally ended up staying together. Even though Zara was in another school, we still kept in touch with her by snail mail and handwritten letters passed on to her younger sister who was still in the same school.

When it was time to move on to college, we really had no idea how we would manage to still stay close. We were all moving on to different courses and different universities. This was the era when email was unheard of for most people (including me) and they were still building the MRT. We ended up in such diverse fields as Chemistry, Biology, Accountancy, Psychology and Philosophy. What would we ever talk about when we would meet again? I don’t know how we managed, but in the end, people in our lives came and went, but after graduation, we knew we still had each other to go back to. Nothing changed. We'd still meet up for our annual reunion, eat good food, talk about the silliest things, and just try to support each other through all the changes we were going through.

Now, we're all roughly about 26. We still have our annual get-together regardless of whether we find ourselves in other countries. We sit around reminiscing how I slipped on the dance floor during someone's debut, how many times we tried to put one of our friends in the trash can, how we often had to prepare song and dance numbers for the kids we used to teach every Saturday when we were in high school, and a whole list of all the weird things we've been through together. We may have our differences in opinion and we may be treading on different paths, but if by some miracle I end up marrying someone one day, I'm already pretty sure that I will want them there beside me as my bridesmaids.